Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Some things can never be explained

Just a quick blog to keep things ticking over: basically I was on a very early train the other day which was severely delayed and I found out that someone had committed suicide further on up the line. Now I do not wish to trivialise this matter, and I certainly felt no annoyance to my indefinite delay (because in retrospect my inconveniences were rather minor), but what I could not get my head around was the time of this incident. I was on a 7 o’clock train, so (and I am entirely speculating here) give or take 5 minutes this guy must have been up by at least 6 o’clock, why?-have a lie in surely?-I definitely would.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Bones, MC Pitman, BigMacs and Whoppers

Ok, so, right, I don’t want to get too involved with the whole Islam4uk versus the People of Wootton Bassett debate, because I know just how much trouble that could get me in, so as is usual in my life I will skirt around the fringe of the problem not really offering too much of my opinion and certainly not offering a bone of contention.

A pile of bones, the law of averages suggests one of these must be of contention.

My problem with the whole thing stems from immigrants themselves (I am in no way a racist and do not disagree at all with people of all walks of like coming to live in this country, some of my best friends are from foreign lands; I love others’s art, music, film, sport, language [kind of], outlook, philosophy and such like. I know it would have been much less time consuming if I had just written culture, but you bloggers out there need to know that ‘padding’ is a bloggers best friend; it makes you seem more interesting, more informed, more intelligent, more insightful than your irrelevant, misguided, and needlessly wordy articles actually are! [Did you see what I just did there? Take note]). Kind of forgotten where I was, but that is the beauty of writing: unlike a conversation I can just track back to see what I was saying so I continue along similar lines. So, sure, by all means come and live in this country, this society and most importantly this culture and that is exactly what it is this culture, but don’t then want to change it all into your own culture, if that is the case stay at home! And in the words of the right honourable reverend MC Pitman ‘D’ya get me?’

MC Pitman above, and I am certain he would offer two insightful words to this discussion-the latter being 'off!'

On a serious note: the proposed march through Wootton Bassett was a plain silly idea, disrespectful to our culture and most importantly to the public (I would even go as far to see human civilization as a whole); and a proposed march with the intention of changing Buckingham Palace into a mosque was perhaps even more ridiculous. Basically what I am trying to say is: would you go into Burger King fig.1 and order a BigMac fig.2?

fig.1 A whopper from Burger King. fig.2 A BigMac from Mcdonald's.

'Genuine' Disclaimer: I really do not wish to offend anyone whatsoever, so please if I do so, just leave a polite comment where I have done so, and I will rectify as quickly as possible.

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

Public opinion to be banned

After the recent departure of Danyl from X Factor I am once again questioning the mental stability of the British population, and I do not stand alone. Gordon Brown is also considering a close inspection into the legality of public opinion.

Brown had previously toyed with the idea of banning public opinion after certain events, namely questionable voting earlier in the hit TV show, had rendered Danyl in the bottom two (whilst Lloyd and ‘Jedward’ remained).

Unfortunately, if Brown were to ban public opinion of certain members of society, he will have essentially shot his political career not so much in the foot but rather in the head, as it is those with questionable opinion that vote Labour anyway. A fact he himself admits; ‘After all it was popular misguided opinion that got us into power in the first place’ Brown scoffed, ‘and look where that’s got us.’[1]

X Factor can provide myriad examples of misplaced British opinion: Leon actually won; Cheryl Cole becoming popular (even though the same cannot be said for Dannii Minogue, which actually bolsters my faith in public opinion somewhat); and becoming a common theme of this blog ‘Jedward’[2], (no explanation necessary)

I am all for banning the majority of public opinion as I could not bear to read such moronic claims as ‘The truth is Eric Cantona was over rated’[3] ever again, even if it is a joke.

It is scientifically proven that Eric Cantona was the greatest football player ever; the matter is not subjective, these things never are we just like them to be.

[1] I might have made that quotation up entirely.
[2] With constant referral to the twins I have had to reluctantly add ‘Jedward’ to my Microsoft Word dictionary – leading to more undeserved exposure.
[3] Opinion (if you can call it that) courtesy of